December 6, 2013

Beyonce and Jay-Z did it and you can, too. How to come out to your family over the holidays.

Beyonce and Jay-Z did it and you can, too. How to come out to your family over the holidays.

Who says bacon is irreplaceable? Last song title pun, I promise. Jay-Z has vowed to embrace veganism for 22 days and is taking his lady love on the journey, too.

Which means us normal people can eat like the most spectacular power couple ever to grace the planet, private chefs three times a day not required. Do as vegans (and Mr. and Mrs. Carter) do and ditch the meat this holiday season.

Below is a list of real world-approved scenarios, straight from our favorite vegan experts at Native Foods Cafe, on how to come out (as vegans) to Mom and Dad pre-holiday feast, and get you on your way to dining like B and J.

How to come out to your family over the holidays Mom...Dad...I’m vegan

Option A: We need to talk This approach enlists a sense of fear in even your toughest family member. Your dad the CEO, your brother the marine, your mom, the paralyzing CEO-Marine hybrid. These four little words will bring them to their knees with unbearable anxiety. When you reveal you are a vegan and not jail bound everyone will praise you, you’re a hero! You eat plants and haven’t taken a mugshot, way to go favorite child!

Option B: Operation Switch the Ranch Ranch dressing is universally loved by all and no one can tell the difference between the dairy ridden ranch and the vegan variety, except for the fact that the plant-based ranch is probably more delicious and won’t kill you. Switching "normal" foods like a vegan ninja with your version is an excellent segue into your veganism proclamation. "You're vegan, gross. What do you eat, like grass?" Will question the snobby carnivore. "No I eat everything you do, literally." Then laugh while pointing at the ranch. Game over.

Option C: It's still me! You can approach it like US Weekly does a la "Stars, They are Just Like Us." Vegans, they are just like us. Halt your family’s worrying that now suddenly you will grow out your hair into dreads. You still like shampoo and mainstream movies. You're still you, a better you who has a nice veggie glow about them.

Option D: Keep it breezy No hardcore political discussions, here. It's the holidays, time to be merry! Take the simplistic approach like that child did on the internet video that went viral. You just like animals better when they are standing, is all. No need to deck the halls with bloody animal posters. Bah humbug, yourself!

Option E: Be happy! Your family wants you to be happy. If this decision to eat a compassionate diet makes you superbly happy, who are they to argue? Don’t be the grinch over in the corner munching on kale alone, snarling at all the meat eaters. You won't win them over.

Your seamless transition to veganism is one step closer to completion. You are a brave soul for cutting out meat prior to Grandpa’s flawlessly prepared prime rib feast. We commend you.

May you go forth and live in plant-based paradise.

About the Author

PlainClarity Admin

PlainClarity Admin

PlainClarity is a top San Diego-based PR firm that garners success for clients through uncommon connections and authentic interactions. We’re storytellers and connectors. We connect brands with those who will love and support them. Our services include media/public relations, marketing, events, web design and development, strategy and social media for industries including luxury lifestyle, hospitality, tech and health & beauty.